Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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