he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Watching her eat just hurts me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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