You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
