I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
