I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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