im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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