White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
