good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
