No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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