Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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