i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
