Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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