Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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