i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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