I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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