Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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