Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
