that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
