never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
They have beer where we have blood.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
