its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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