You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
