she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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