meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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