Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
