Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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