He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
