Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
