I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize