That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
