it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
