i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
