I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
