sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize