Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
