u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
