Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
