Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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