I am spending my child support on dildos
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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