we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
