I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
