i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
