So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
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fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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