Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
