He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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