Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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