Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
vagina is talking i cant
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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