yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
