I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
