He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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