Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
