shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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