everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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