This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
