my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
